Trouble

Can you believe they're blaming Norman's death on me? Outrageous! They think I have brutalised him! All I did was kick him a little bit! Anyway - the buggers have given me a written warning and I have to take it on the chin (a bit like Norman) and move on (sadly not like Norman.)

One of the penguins is playing up now too. It keeps running headlong at the visitors screaming like a banshee! I tell you it's scary stuff. I think it's eaten something it shouldn't've done. It puts me in mind of Alanis Morissette on a bad day.

Anyhoo - must dash my lovelies

Barb x

Life and death

Do ghost-cats exist? What do you think? I've been discussing it in some depth with Anthea over at the insect house. We both think that they do and I think I've seen one. Last Wednesday evening I was in the kitchen making some marmite on toast for my tea when out of the corner of my eye I saw this lump on the floor and heard what I can only describe as a vibrating cat noise... Well I can tell you it freaked me out! I spun around to see what it was and there was nothing there... very spooky indeed! I shan't be eating marmite on toast in a hurry if that's the sort of things that it can summon up!

Tragic news my friends. Norman the tortoise has been found dead. He was lying in a ditch not far away from where I last saw him near the primate house. His little feet were sticking right up in the air and he's gone all boss-eyed. Nobody knows what happened but I suspect foul play! I reckon that peacock that had a go at me the other day has something to do with it but nobody wants to listen to me. Anyway they're going to check the CCTV records to see what happened immediately before his death.

In other zoo news it seems that Arnold the Orangutan has been hiding a secret. Arnold, it can be revealed, is up the duff and therefore we can only conclude that he has been hiding his ovaries from us all for the past four years. Sneaky bugger! Anyway - I suppose it's still good news.

Must get off now - I have to go and scrub up some puke which some school child kindly left for us outside the bat enclosure. Joy!

Bye for now my lovelies

Barbara x

A boring day...

Well my lovelies, it's been a bit of a boring day today. I was played poker with Bill this afternoon at the insect house - we used the Pea beetles as counters - I won. I lost a couple of the faster little buggers but there's plenty of them around so it doesn't really matter.
I did a bit of a clean up near the primate house and found Norman the tortoise still there from last time I saw him. Thought that was a bit weird. He's still twitching a bit but now he seems to be walking in very slow and very big circles. Still he seemed to be eating okay, he scoffed down a couple of chips he found on the ground just while I was there!
Good news! Melanie, the black tailed monkey, has turned up. She's a bit grumpy but we've got her back under lock and key and we've got the psychologist popping round tomorrow to visit her. He seems to think that all we need need do is get her to pop a couple of Valium and play her some calming music and she'll be right as rain. I'm going to dig out some old Sting records for her, that'll do the trick.
No more to tell today I don't think so I'll say TTFN

Barbara xx

An exciting day!

Well I don't think my boss is best pleased with me. He said that if I don't shape up then I will need to seriously consider my position here at the zoo. I'm not sure really what he means but all the time he was talking to me the vein on the side of his head was throbbing.

Anyway - that's by the by. I have exciting news! The science bods have finally found the growth gene for the african elephants and it should just be a matter of months before the first miniature elephant is born! We expect it to be about the size of a jack russell and if it's successful they want to try it with the giraffes! Just imagine taking tiny elephants and giraffes on a walk around the park on a lead! There's a competition amongst the staff to come up with a name for the first miniature elephant - I've suggested Dulcie. I'm quietly confident.

Another thing happened today. I was walking down towards the primate house to take some tools back to Dave and I kicked what I thought was a stone. It turns out that it was actually Norman - the tortoise. He went quite far. I went and picked him up from the under the bushes, put him the right way up again and let him go on his way. He seemed alright apart from a bit of a twitchy face. Anyway - don't tell the boss. I'll see you soon my lovelies.

B xx