What a tangled web we weave...

I was in the giraffe house earlier on today filling up Chad and Chantelle's food. We put it in big string bags quite high up so they can graze naturally. Anyway as I turned round to grab another handful of hay from the wheelbarrow I felt this tugging on my head! I'd got my weave tangled up in the bloody feedbag!

Well I struggled for a bit but it just got more and more tangled and there was no one around to help me. Next thing I knew Chad was there poking me in the middle of the back with that big thing of his! I had to punch him in it to make him get off and he trotted off with a whelp! It was truly awful!

Eventually I managed to pull free from it but not without tearing out a big clump of my weave. I'll just have to comb it over till I can get it sorted. I bet Oprah never has these problems with her hair. The dance is in a couple of days as well! I must get it fixed by then - I think I'll treat myself to a pedicure too whilst I'm at the beauty shop.

A violent attack.

I was in the zoo cafe this afternoon having cottage pie and chips for me dinner - it was delicious with a few slices of beetroot and a dollop of gravy. It struck me, whilst eating, that the vinegar jug looked a little bit like a douche - except without the balloon bit on the end. Anyway after I'd finished I went for a quick stroll around the grounds whilst I had a ciggie and noticed a meerkat loose near the sealion pool. Before I knew it that bleeding penguin was making a bee line for it and launched itself directly at it! Anyway - long story short - I've now got a dead meerkat on my hands. Literally. I've got it in my locker. I panicked and instead of calling the vet I stuffed the thing in my body warmer and took it back to the staff room. I'm not sure how to deal with it now. I should have just told someone straight away but now it looks suss if I own up to it hours later. It's a bit of a worry.

Revenge

I was talking to Racist Julie who looks after the Camels at the zoo. She told me that she's been having an affair with Bob for the last six months. Well I'm not best pleased with this situation as Bob's missus is expecting their fourth baby in May and Julie's husband Arnie is lovely. I did promise not to tell anyone so I have to come up with some way of exacting my revenge on her. I've started by slipping a couple of pubes into her duffel coat pocket and I might try feeding the camels a laxative - see how she likes that!
That mental penguin is playing up again! I caught it playing chicken this morning. The silly bugger was legging it through the tiger enclosure screaming at the top of its voice. I thought it was just a bad choice of direction and it had taken a wrong turning but no... It kept going back and dashing through the enclosure time and time again getting closer to the tigers with each sprint! It's going to get itself snaffled up if it's not careful!

That's it my lovelies.

Babs xx

Trouble

Can you believe they're blaming Norman's death on me? Outrageous! They think I have brutalised him! All I did was kick him a little bit! Anyway - the buggers have given me a written warning and I have to take it on the chin (a bit like Norman) and move on (sadly not like Norman.)

One of the penguins is playing up now too. It keeps running headlong at the visitors screaming like a banshee! I tell you it's scary stuff. I think it's eaten something it shouldn't've done. It puts me in mind of Alanis Morissette on a bad day.

Anyhoo - must dash my lovelies

Barb x